The Martians Are Here! Oh Wait, No, It's Just The Olsen Twins.

So right off the bat I'll admit that I am not the originator of this rant. It was passed on to me as one transfers a flame from one candle to another, but now burns within me with the power of a raging inferno. You're in suspense now, aren't you? You're wondering what on earth this heated passion could be about. Well, here it is:

The Olsen twins look like aliens.

Actually, the theory is:

The Olsen twins are aliens.

The only proof I have to back up this radical statement is that which I've seen with my own eyes. I mean, have you seen them?! Buggy eyes, heart-shaped faces, pursed lips, what part of that description does not scream ALIEN?

What is their purpose here? To observe? To destroy?! I can't be certain. Perhaps it's just to infiltrate our cultural consciousness in the form of "adorable" children in order to assimilate our society to their kind before the invasion. Again, I can't be certain.

Maybe you don't believe me. That's okay; that's your prerogative. But now every time you see a picture of Mary-Kate and/or Ashley with their vacant, staring eyes, you'll wonder.