Touché

So, there's one kid who lives in my building who went to my high school. Actually, there are many more high school people who live here (too many) but they do not factor into this story. Anyway, this particular guy never fails to make some sort of sarcastic, douchebag-y comment at me, so I've learned to never be without a prompt retort. Clever ones, like "Shut up!" or "Don't talk to me!"

A couple of days ago, I was walking down the stairs with a group of people and he was walking up the stairs with a group of people. He says, "What's up?" and I respond with a swift and scathing "WHAT?!"

Then he didn't say anything else, so I quickly added, "Up. What up? That's what I meant to say..." Of course, then I was the one who looked like a jerk when he was trying to be nice. Great.

Or...maybe he wasn't trying to be nice at all! Maybe he'd planned that all out just so I WOULD look like a jerk! Oh, well played, sir, well played.

Things Not To Do At A Nightclub

1) Wear flipflops

It's just not a good idea. Your feet will get trampled. Just don't do it.

2) Vomit 

It's just gross and uncomfortable for everyone involved. Especially if you do so on the dance-floor. Just don't do it.

3) Wear shorts and/or halter top (men or women)

You'll get way more attention than you'd like, as my roommate found out.

4) Ask "What's up?" when trying to initiate a conversation with a stranger

What do you really expect them to say?

4b) Say, "Obviously" when they reply, "Dancing"

Again, what did you expect?

This is the first in a new "Things Not To Do" series, a subject for which I'm sure I will find tons of material

This Is What America Is All About

I've watched it a dozen times and it doesn't get any less funny. God bless Amy Poehler! God bless Tina Fey! God bless America!

Get Your Priorities In Order, People!

So, once again, Facebook is ruining my life. 

Actually, it's not. I'm being facetious. It can't ruin my life. It's a WEBSITE! Try telling that to the people creating "Protest the New Facebook" groups. Go ahead, try. They will rip your face off.

Yeah, maybe the New Facebook is kind of annoying, but really? Really? Why are these people getting so upset? Again, it's a WEBSITE. Maybe they should spend their time signing a petition against genocide or world hunger or corruption, not against the reformatting of a social-networking site.

Get it together, people.