Things Not To Do In Polite Conversation

So, I thought that most of these would have been fairly obvious, but clearly, that is not the case, so here we go:

1) Maintain constant, direct, unwavering eye contact

 I really shouldn't have to tell people this, but it's just not a good idea. It's creepy. Just don't do it.

2) Ask someone if they sweat a lot*

Seriously? Um... why would...? Uh... yeah. Just don't do it. Avoid bringing up sweat at all, actually, in any context. It won't end well. Just don't do it.

3) Say something overtly negative, even if it is your actual opinion

If I say, "How are you liking college?" an appropriate response is not, "I hate it here," however true that might be.

4) Repeat inquiry about a person's sweat habits*

It was a mistake to do it once, now you're just a moron.

5) Mention your sex life

Frankly, I have no desire to hear about it and neither do the other six people in the classroom currently listening in on our conversation. Just don't do it.

*That sweat thing really did happen to me.

ME: [making polite conversation] Oh weird, my iPod headphones are turning blue from my jeans, because I always carry them in my pocket.

PERSON: Do you sweat a lot?

ME: Do I...? Uh...

PERSON: It's okay if you do, I mean, I'm not... it's just that...uh...well, do you?

ME: ...

PERSON: Let's not talk about this anymore.

ME: Yeah, way to ruin that conversation.